Tan iyo markii ay hormuudka u ahayd baahinta raadiyaha waxbarasho ee Mary Somerville ay u xaqiijisay dhagaystayaasha in “ Telefishinku^(Television) aanu sii waarin doonin. Waa bir bir ah oo digsiga ku jira”, gurus-yaqaannada aaladaha ayaa si la yaab leh u qaldamay – gaar ahaan marka ay arrintu lug ku leeyihiin. Halkan waxaan ku eegeynaa shan dammaanad oo been abuur ah oo lagu sameeyay sida ugu wanaagsan ee loogu talagalay, faa'iidada waayo-aragnimada, iyo saxnaanta ka yar marka loo eego horoscope-ka uu turjumay eey ciyaya.

1.  "Waad ku mahadsan tahay jawaabta xamaasadda leh ee macaamilka ee N-Gage QD iyo magacyadeennii ugu dambeeyay, waxaan ku kalsoonahay in guusheenna ku aaddan hoggaaminta ciyaaraha mobaylada ay sii socon doonto" ^{(“Thanks to the enthusiastic consumer response to the N-Gage QD and our latest titles, we’re confident that our success in leading the mobile gaming world will continue”)}
Ilkka Raiskinen, Guddoomiye Ku-xigeenka Sare ee Ciyaaraha Nokia^{(Ilkka Raiskinen, Nokia’s Senior Vice President of Games)} .

Haddii weligeed ay jirtay caddayn ah in madaxda ciyaaraha ay ku nool yihiin adduun nafsiyan ah oo nafsiyan ah taasoo ka dhigaysa Maamulka Nixon^{(Nixon Administration)} inuu u ekaado kooxda farta dugsiga barbaarinta, waa hadalkan. N-Gage wuxuu ahaa, waa, iyo (ka-hortagga taageerada Ciise Masiix ee soo laabtay^{(Jesus Christ Returned)} ) had iyo jeer waxay noqon doontaa kaftan warshadaha ciyaaraha. Xigashada sare waxay ka timid war-saxaafadeed ka soo baxay Nokia Sebtembar ^(Nokia)2004^{(September 2004)} , oo u dabaaldegay dhoofinta konsole-kooda milyan-aad. U fiirso ereyga muhiimka ah ee "raritaanka" halkii "iibka " - Nokia waxay caado u leedahay inay ku faanto inta unug ee ay dhisto marka qofna uusan rabin inuu iibsado, taas oo ganacsiyada intooda badani ay u arkaan "wax xun."

Waxaa ka sii daran, tani waa markii labaad ee ay tan ku tijaabiyaan N-Gage - waxay ku andacoodeen in afar boqol oo kun oo sagxad ah ay iibiyeen labadii toddobaad ee ugu horreeyay ka dib markii nidaamyada la bilaabay. Dhab ahaantii waxay iibiyeen lix kun oo keliya. Taasi kaliya maahan mid xun - taasi gabi ahaanba, si yaab leh, weji jabin xun - aad u xun in Gamestop iyo EB ay bilaabeen inay u soo celiyaan iibsada $100 unug kasta saddex maalmood ka dib. Fahmo: Console-kan ayaa si xun u sameeyay in uu kaydiyo lacagta dib loo soo celiyay sababtoo ah jiritaankiisii ​​oo dhan waa jabay.

Xigashada sare waa labanlaab naxdin leh maadaama ay u dabaaldegayso N-Gage QD, kaas oo la sii daayay lix bilood oo keliya ka dib N-Gage asalka ah. Marka aad sii dayso casriyeyn degdeg ah waxaad qiranaysaa sida jahliga leh ee loo sameeyay kii ka horreeyay, iyo N-Gage-kii asalka ahaa waxaa ka buuxa cillado naqshadeed, waxay u muuqatay in uu dhisay qof maqlay dadka oo ka hadlaya Game Boy wiish hal mar laakiin waligeed ma arag. Laakiin dadka intiisa badan ayaa horeba u diiday nidaamka, iyo badi "macaamiisha xamaasadda leh" weligood xitaa ma maqal QD.

2.  Segway inuu noqdo "heshiis weyn sida PC" ^{(Segway to be “as big a deal as the PC”)}
Steve Jobs, oo laga yaabo inaad maqashay.^{(Steve Jobs, who you might have heard of.)}

Hubintan cajiibka ah, ee lagu soo warramey daabacaad aan ka yarayn majaladda Time , waxay ahayd mid ka mid ah hyper-hype taasoo keentay sii deynta Segway . Pundits iyo xirfadlayaasha waxay u dhiseen si aad u sarreeya kuwa sameeyayaashu waxay u adeegsadeen dhismaha Boqortooyada State^{(Empire State)} si ay u noqdaan cago, waxayna si cad u caddaatay in haddii daawaynta kansarka lagu dhawaaqay Diseembar 3rd^{(December 3rd)} 2001 ay ahayd inay sugto ilaa Segway Incorporated ay dhammeeyaan hadalka. Iyadoo la tixgelinayo falcelinta adduunka dhabta ah ee badeecada "kacaanka", waxaan kaliya ku soo gabagabeyn karnaa tusaalaha hore ee Steve Jobs iyo kuwa kale ee lagu dahaadhay dhaxan LSD-iyo-sonkorta^{(LSD-and-sugar)} .

Xaqiiqdu waxay ahaanaysaa in Segway ay tahay inuu guuleysto - waa hab lagu soo wareego magaalooyinka iyada oo aan la helin meel dhiig leh oo Hummer ah, waxay leedahay injineernimo heer sare ah iyo hal-abuuro xariif ah. Waa Kaliya^(Just) . Eeg^(Looks) . doqon^(Stupid) _ "Qodobka qabow" lama dammaanad qaadi karo (oo haddii ay wax ahaan karaan, waxay ahaan lahayd tan khaniisiinta ah ee bini'aadamka ah) iyo marka wadajirka " Kuleyl^(Hot) ama Maya?" xukun ayaa soo galay, waxa uu ku yimid qaab toban kun oo kaftan ah oo taagan oo isku mid ah. Segway Incorporatedayaa weli ku jira wakhti dheer, cilmi-baaris iyo sii-deynta qaababka la hagaajiyay kuwaas oo wax ka qabta arrin kasta oo farsamo oo ay helaan - oo si fudud u rajaynaya in dadku ay naftooda ka gudbaan oo ay helaan wax xun ka hor inta aan loo dirin Segway HT si ay ula ciyaaraan Sinclair C5 .

3.  "Macaamiisheenna, kuwaas oo u isticmaalaya PSP sida ciyaaryahan muuqaal ah in ka badan weligood, waxay u ooman yihiin waxyaabo badan, gaar ahaan muuqaalada gaaban" ^{(“Our consumers, who are utilizing PSP as a video player more than ever, are thirsting for more content, particularly short-form videos”)}
Phil Rosenberg, madaxweyne kuxigeenka sare ee iibka iyo horumarinta ganacsiga, Sony Computer Entertainment America.^{(Phil Rosenberg, senior vice president of sales and business development, Sony Computer Entertainment America.)}

Kiis kale oo PR-ku hadal^(PR-speak) ah oo runtii run ah ilaa inta ay socoto oo aan hal micron ka dheerayn. Tusaale ahaan: haddii dhammaan shanta isticmaale ee Atari Lynx ay bilaabaan inay u adeegsadaan taleefankooda qadiimiga ah sidii buug-yareyaal, markaa waxa laga yaabaa inay noqoto " Macaamiisha Atari Lynx waxay u isticmaalayaan nidaamkooda qalab suugaaneed in ka badan weligood," laakiin taasi macnaheedu maaha inay jiraan aad u badan ama in ay tahay fikrad wanaagsan.

Filimada UMD^(UMD) waxay ahaayeen guuldarro aan la qiyaasi karin, iyadoo xitaa Walmart ay diiday inay kaydiso - mana garanayo inaad dareentay, laakiin nimankaas wax walba way iibiyaan. Inta badan guuldarada waxaa si toos ah loogu tiirin karaa Sony . Sida caadiga ah waxay kaliya u maleeyeen in dadku iibsanayaan alaabtooda (sida muuqata waxay la ildaran yihiin amnesia ka dib Betamax iyo Minidisc ) waxayna isla markiiba dejiyeen curyaaminta badeecadooda si ay u ilaaliyaan dhammaan lacagta ay heli doonaan. Dib uma ciyaari kartid filimada UMD TV sababtoo ah markaa ma iibsan doontid DVD , ka dibna Blu-ray . SonyRuntii ma filaysay inaad filim kasta iibsatid saddex jeer oo aad ayaad uga naxay markii isticmaalayaashu ka xanaaqeen taas. Lama hayo saxanadaha maran ama wax duuba si looga hortago budhcad-badeednimada – waxaanan hubaa in tallaabadaasi ay budhcad-badeeddu dib u dhigtay in ay jabiyaan saxanadaha UMD^(UMD) saddex, laga yaabee afar daqiiqo oo dhan. Iyadoo isku mar iyo si joogto ah u curyaamisay dhammaan saldhigga isticmaalaha.

Arrinka budhcad-badeednimadu way ka xumaatay oo waxay noqotay nacas nacasnimo ah markii la ogaaday in aanay ciyaaraha fudud ku koobin karin usha xusuusta ee PSP , laakiin waxay si ka dhaqso badan u shaqaynayeen marka^(FASTER) loo eego saxannada rasmiga ah ee UMD ee doqonka ah. ^(UMD)Aah! Warshadaha kobaca kaliya ee filimada UMD waa mid Sony aysan rabin, suuqa filimada lulataaye ee Japan. Sony waxay ku tilmaantay tan "mid aan loo baahnayn", iyadoo laga yaabo inay ilowdo in fiidiyowyada dadka waaweyn ay qayb weyn ka ahaayeen sababta VHS ay dib ugu soo celisay. In kasta oo sababta qof kastaa u rabo inuu daawado lulataaye shaashadda halkaas oo ay tahay inay ku indho-tiraan si ay wax u arkaan, aan ka ahayn inay si dhab ah u abuuraan dareenka “safar”, ma cadda.

4.  "Waan ku faraxsanahay in qaabka DVD-ga HD ay si madax-banaan u ayideen Paramount Pictures, Universal Pictures, Cinema Line New, iyo Warner Bros. Studios." ^{(“We are delighted that the HD DVD format has been independently endorsed by Paramount Pictures, Universal Pictures, New Line Cinema, and Warner Bros. Studios.”)}
Mr. Tadashi Okamura, Madaxweynaha iyo madaxa shirkadda Toshiba Corporation.^{(Mr. Tadashi Okamura, President and CEO of Toshiba Corporation.)}

HD - DVD^(HD-DVD) : Bilad qalin ku guulaystey qaabkii ugu dambeeyay dagaal, tartan qof walba marka laga reebo dahab dib loo soo saaro oo madaxa laga toogto. Waxa ay u muuqatay in HD-DVD uu bilaabay duullimaad – odhaahdaas waxa ku jira magacyo aad u waaweyn oo run ah oo aan run ahayn. Taasi waxay ka tagaysaa shay yar oo la yiraahdo "runta oo dhan", waana meesha ay arrimuhu ku xiiseeyaan. Waxaa jira magacyo kale oo badan oo waaweyn kuwaas oo ballan qaaday daacadnimada Blu-Ray , sida ^(Blu-Ray)Walt Disney , 20th Century Fox , sawirada Buena Vista - iyo si la yaab leh oo ku filan Sony Pictures ayaa u muuqday kuwo aan dooneynin inay soo saaraan HD-DVDs .

Marxaladda waxa loo dejiyay dagaal aad u adag oo ruxi kara da'da marka laga reebo hal shay oo yar - macaamiishu ma daneeyaan. Ganacsiga waa weyn^(Big) waxa uu u muuqday mid si dhab ah u jahawareersan in peons-ku aanu safka ku jirin, iyaga oo ka codsanaya fursad ay ku iibsadaan filimadooda oo dhan mar kale qaab ka duwan oo qaali ah. Falanqaynta farsamada ee dib-u-noqoshada ayaa dib iyo dib ugu soo noqnoqonaysa shabakada oo dhan si cad oo jaahil ah xaqiiqda ah in haddii aadan ahayn T800 oo ku hubaysan mikroskoob sax ah ma jiro wax farqi ah oo u dhexeeya Blu-Ray iyo HD-DVD . Dhab ahaantii, bini'aadamka caadiga ah, labaduba waa inay si adag u shaqeeyaan si ay u caddeeyaan inay jiraan wax khalad ah DVD^(DVDs) -yadii aan hore u haysannay iyo "Sababtoo ah dadka iibinaya waxyaalaha cusub waxay yiraahdaan" ma gooyo.

Garwaaqsiga inay tuurayaan dagaal oo aanay cidina imanayn Warner Bros^{(Warner Bros)} ayaa qaaday tallaabo adag. Iskahorimaadka qaaliga ah iyo kuwa aan macnaha lahayn ma ahayn in la "guuleysto", waa in la dhammeeyaa^(OVER) oo sida ugu dhaqsaha badan loo dhammeeyaa. Bishii Jannaayo 2008dii^{(January 2008)} waxay ku dhammeeyeen qaab weyn, tooreey calaamadeysan oo WB ku leh HD-DVD-yada^(HD-DVDs) iyagoo u booday xerada Blu-Ray . Laga soo bilaabo wakhtigaas HD-DVD waxay ahayd madadaalo dhaqdhaqaaq degdeg ah oo Titanic ah oo leh baraf dheeraad ah, iyo bil ka dib Toshiba waxay kor u qaaday calanka is-dhiibida.

5.  "Waxaan samayn doonaa kheyraad kasta oo lagama maarmaan ah oo la heli karo si loo hubiyo in si guul leh loo bilaabo." ^{( “We will make every necessary resource available to ensure a successful launch.”)}
Carl Freer, aasaasaha iyo guddoomiyaha, Gizmondo.^{(Carl Freer, Co-founder and Chairman, Gizmondo.)}

Markii Carl uu sidaas yidhi, ma uu khalkhal gelinayn. Xafiisyada Elite London^{(Elite London)} ee furitaanka, wakaalad dhan oo ah moodooyinka quruxda badan, Ferarris burburay iyo Mafia Iswidhishka - taasi maaha kaliya bandhiga console-ka, taasi waa filimka James Bond . Shirkadda Gizmondo , ee kuwiinna aan horay ugu qoslin xusuusta, waxay la mid noqotay "kharash lacag la'aan ah" oo waxay ahayd "bilawga guusha" si la mid ah Waterworld waxay ahayd "filim lacag samayn ah oo guul leh."

Shirkadda ayaa kacday ka dib markii ay kor u kacday in ka badan saddex boqol oo milyan oo doolar oo khasaare ah iyada oo iibinaysay wax ka yar shan iyo labaatan kun oo unug. Si taas loo eego, waxay ku heli kareen iib weyn oo leh kharashyo yar iyagoo ku qoraya "Gizmondo" sanduuqyada kartoonada ka kooban toban kun oo doolar midkiiba oo kaliya siinaya geesaha waddooyinka.

The 5 Worst Reassurances in Tech History

Ever since educаtіonal radio broаdcasting pioneer Mary Somerville assured listeners that “Τelevision won’t last. It’s a flaѕh in the pan”, gadget gurυs have been spectacularly wrong – eѕpecially when they have a stаke in the issue. Here we look at five fabulouѕly false assurances made with the best of intentions, the benefіt of expеrience, and less acсuracy than a horoscope translated by a barking dog.

1. “Thanks to the enthusiastic consumer response to the N-Gage QD and our latest titles, we’re confident that our success in leading the mobile gaming world will continue”
Ilkka Raiskinen, Nokia’s Senior Vice President of Games.

If ever there was proof that gaming executives live in a psychotically self-delusional world that makes the Nixon Administration look like a preschool fingerpainting group, it’s this statement. The N-Gage was, is, and (barring support from Jesus Christ Returned) always will be a joke in the gaming industry. The above quote is from a press release from Nokia in September 2004, celebrating the shipping of their millionth console. Note the vital word “shipping” instead of “sale” – Nokia has a habit of acting proud of how many units they build when nobody wants to buy them, which most businesses regard as a “bad thing.”

Worse, this is the second time they’d tried this with the N-Gage – they claimed that four hundred thousand decks had sold in the first fortnight after the systems launch. They’d actually only sold six thousand. That isn’t just bad – that’ absolutely, staggeringly, face-breakingly bad – so bad that Gamestop and EB started refunding buyers $100 per unit three days later. Understand: this console did so badly that stores refunded money because its entire existence was broken.

The above quote is doubly tragic as it celebrates the N-Gage QD, which was released only six months after the original N-Gage. When you release an upgrade that quickly you’re admitting how crappily made the predecessor was, and the original N-Gage was so full of design flaws it seemed to have been built by somebody who’d heard people talking about a Game Boy in an elevator once but had never actually seen one. But most people had already utterly dismissed the system, and most of the “enthusiastic consumers” never even heard of the QD.

2. Segway to be “as big a deal as the PC”
Steve Jobs, who you might have heard of.

This incredible assurance, reported in no less a publication than Time magazine, was typical of the hyper-hype leading up to the release of the Segway. Pundits and professionals built it up so high the makers used the Empire State building as a footrest, and it became pretty clear that if the cure for cancer was announced on December 3rd 2001 it would have had to wait until Segway Incorporated were finished talking. Considering the real-world reaction to the “revolutionary” product, we can only conclude the preview model Steve Jobs and others were exposed to was coated in LSD-and-sugar frosting.

The fact remains that the Segway should succeed – it’s a way of getting around cities without having to find a bloody Hummer-sized space somewhere, it features excellent engineering and ingenious innovations. It Just. Looks. Stupid. The “cool factor” cannot be guaranteed (and if anything could have been, it would have been this homophonous human-helper) and when the collective “Hot or Not?” verdict came in, it came in the form of ten thousand identical stand-up comic jokes. Segway Incorporated are still in it for the long haul, researching and releasing improved versions which address every technical issue they find – and simply hoping that people get over themselves and get on the damn thing before the Segway HT is sent to play with the Sinclair C5.

3. “Our consumers, who are utilizing PSP as a video player more than ever, are thirsting for more content, particularly short-form videos”
Phil Rosenberg, senior vice president of sales and business development, Sony Computer Entertainment America.

Another case of PR-speak that’s absolutely true as far as it goes and not one micron further. For example: if all five Atari Lynx users were to start using their antique handsets as bookends, then it may be that “Atari Lynx consumers are using their system as literary devices more than ever,” but that still doesn’t mean that there are very many or that it’s a good idea.

UMD Movies have been an unmitigated failure, with even Walmart refusing to stock them anymore – and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but those guys sell everything. Most of the failure can be attributed directly to Sony. As per usual they just assumed that people would buy their product (apparently suffering from amnesia after the Betamax and Minidisc) and immediately set about crippling their own product to safeguard all the money they were about to earn. You can’t playback UMD movies on a TV because then you wouldn’t buy a DVD, and then a Blu-ray. Sony really did expect you to buy every movie three times and were genuinely shocked when users got upset about that. No blank discs or recorders are available in order to prevent piracy – and I’m sure that move delayed the pirates cracking UMD discs by three, maybe four whole minutes. While simultaneously and permanently crippling the entire user base.

The piracy issue went from bad to embarrassingly stupid when it was revealed that not only could games easily by copied onto the PSP memory stick, but they actually worked FASTER than when on the stupid official UMD discs. Ouch! The only growth industry in UMD movies is one Sony didn’t want, a market in Japanese porn movies. Sony described this “highly undesirable”, possibly forgetting that adult videos were a big part of why VHS flattened them way back when. Though why anybody would want to watch porn on a screen where they have to squint to see anything, other than to authentically recreate that “voyeur” feeling, it unclear.

4. “We are delighted that the HD DVD format has been independently endorsed by Paramount Pictures, Universal Pictures, New Line Cinema, and Warner Bros. Studios.”
Mr. Tadashi Okamura, President and CEO of Toshiba Corporation.

The HD-DVD: silver medalist the most recent format war, a contest where everybody except gold is taken out back and shot through the head. It seemed that HD-DVD was off to a flying start – that quote contains some very big names and it was the truth and nothing but the truth. That just leaves a little thing called “the whole truth”, and that’s where things get interesting. There are lots of other big names which had pledged Blu-Ray allegiance, like Walt Disney, 20th Century Fox, Buena Vista pictures – and strangely enough Sony Pictures seemed unwilling to produce HD-DVDs.

The stage was set for a pitched battle that could have rocked the ages except for one tiny thing – the customers just didn’t care. Big business seemed genuinely confused that the peons weren’t lining up, pleading for the chance to buy all their movies again in a slightly different, more expensive format. Frothing technical analyses raged back and forth across the web starkly ignorant of the fact that unless you’re a T800 armed with a precision microscope there is absolutely no difference between Blu-Ray and HD-DVD. In fact, for regular humans, both have to work very hard to prove there’s anything wrong with the DVDs we already own and “Because the people selling the new things say so” doesn’t cut it.

Realizing that they’d thrown a war and nobody was coming Warner Bros took decisive action. The increasingly expensive and pointless conflict didn’t have to be “won”, it had to be OVER and as quickly as possible. In January 2008 they ended it in the form of a massive, WB-logoed dagger in HD-DVDs back by jumping to the Blu-Ray camp. From that point on HD-DVD was a fast-motion recreation of the Titanic with extra ice, and a month later Toshiba raised the surrender flag.

5. “We will make every necessary resource available to ensure a successful launch.”
Carl Freer, Co-founder and Chairman, Gizmondo.

When Carl said that, he wasn’t messing around. Elite London launch offices, an entire agency of beautiful models, wrecked Ferarris and the Swedish Mafia – that’s not just a console launch, that’s a James Bond movie. The Gizmondo company, for those of you not already laughing at the memory, became synonymous with “utterly insane spending” and it was only a “successful launch” in the same way Waterworld was a “successful money-making movie.”

The company went bankrupt after racking up well over three hundred million dollars in losses while selling less than twenty-five thousand units. To put that in perspective, they could have achieved greater sales with lower costs by writing “Gizmondo” on cardboard boxes containing ten thousand dollars each and just giving them out on street corners.

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