Dambiilaha ugu xun waa nooca nagu dhaca marka aan nahay kuwa noogu nugul. Marka ay timaado arrimaha wadnaha, xitaa qofka ugu caqli badan wuxuu eegi karaa caqli-gal hore oo ku dhici kara daanka khiyaanada. 

Khatarta^(Online) shukaansiga ee khadka tooska ah waxay ku tiirsan yihiin baahidayada wehelnimo, jacayl iyo ka fogaanshaha kalinimada xanuunka badan. Qof kastaa wuxuu u qalmaa inuu helo qof gaar ah, laakiin taasi macnaheedu maaha inaad u baahan tahay inaad si buuxda u naqdin markaad raadinayso jacayl online. 

Waxaan eegi doonaa sida online shukaansi khayaanada shaqeeyaan, waxa calaamadaha digniintu yihiin iyo sida aad mid kasta ula macaamili karto.

Sida Online Shukaansigu Shaqeeyaan^{(How Online Dating Scammers Work)}

Waxaa jira laba nooc oo waaweyn oo online shukaansi khayaanada. Midda ugu horreysa waxaa dhiirigeliyay faa'iido saafi ah. Fikradda ayaa ah in la dhiso xiriir adiga. Dabadeed si shucuur leh kuu maareeyo si aad u kala tagto alaabtaada qiimaha leh. 

Nooca labaad ee khiyaanada ayaa aad u khiyaano badan, maadaama inta badan waqtiga, ma jirto faa'iido lacageed. Tan waxaa loo yaqaan "catfishing" waana nooc ka mid ah trolling internetka. Ujeeddadu waa in lagu bahdilo ama si kale oo shucuur ahaan laguugu waxyeeleeyo si aad u fool xun. 

In kasta oo kalluumaysigu aanu guud ahaan lacag kugu dhejin (in kasta oo laga yaabo inay u dhaqaaqdo jihadaas) calaamado badan ayaa weli la wadaaga labada nooc ee khiyaanada shukaansiga ee internetka. Waa kuwan qaar ka mid ah calamada cas ee ugu caansan.

Arrimuhu si degdeg ah ayey u socdaan^{(Things Move WAY Too Fast)}

Khayaanada ayaa u baahan inay faa'iido sameyso, taas oo macnaheedu yahay inay saacada ku jiraan. Iyadoo laga yaabo in aad noqon in degdeg ah oo kaliya doonaya in ay ku raaxaystaan ​​marxaladaha hore ee helitaanka dhan lovey-dovey, qofka dhabta ah ee ka dambeeya profile been abuur ah ayaa doonaya dollars oo ay hadda iyaga doonayaan. 

Tani waxay ka dhigan tahay inaad xaqiiqdii dareemi doonto labala'aan gaar ah oo ka timid dhinaca kale ee shaashadda. "Taariikhdaada" onlaynka ah waxay rabtaa inay ka tagto 0-60 wakhti aan fiicneyn. Markaa haddii arrimuhu ku kululaadaan oo ay cuslaanayaan xawaare aan daacad ahayn, hubaal waa inaad dib u qaaddaa tillaabo la'aan muraayadaha jacaylka ee madow.

Maxaa Laga Sameynayaa^{(What To Do About It)}

Waxaad u baahan tahay inaad xakamayso xawaaraha ballan qaadka. Waydii su'aalo faahfaahsan oo ku saabsan noloshooda. Dan dhab ah ka yeelo. U sheeg inaad xiisaynayso inaad barato iyaga ka hor inta aanad dhab ka noqon. 

Tani nacasnimo ma aha. Qaar ka mid ah dharka tuugada shukaansiga ee internetka ayaa diyaar u ah inay ka shaqeeyaan calaamadahooda bilo ama sannado, laakiin intooda badani waxay ku jiraan lacag degdeg ah iyo dhigista biriiga waxay kaa dhigaysaa mid aan faa'iido lahayn.

Waxyaabo Aan Ku Soo Kordhin^{(Things Don’t Add Up)}

^(Online)Khatarta shukaansiga ee khadka tooska ah waa in ay dhisaan shaqsiyo badan oo online been abuur ah . Haa, xitaa tuuggu waa inuu garoonka ka ciyaaraa. Waxaa laga yaabaa inay kuu sheegaan in aysan jirin dhibanayaal kale, laakiin runtu waxay tahay isagoo online ah shukaansi scammer waa xoogaa sida digaag beer batteriga ah. Waxaa lagugu shubay sanduuq waxaana lagaa filayaa inaad wax soo saarto, soo saarto, soo saarto.

Akhbaarta wanaagsan ayaa ah in tani ay ka dhigan tahay inta badan bogagga internetka ee been abuurka ah waa warqad khafiif ah. Kaliya akhrin caadi ah iyada oo loo marayo profile-yada warbaahinta bulshada waa inay muujisaa faahfaahinta aan ku habboonayn.

Maxaa Laga Sameynayaa^{(What To Do About It)}

U samee baaritaankaaga^{(Do your research)} sida aad ula samayn lahayd shisheeyaha kale ee shabakada. Waa wax aan macquul ahayn in dadku maalmahan ay noloshooda ka fogeeyaan shabagga. Markaa ka fiirso meelo ka baxsan kanaalada taariikhdaada khadka tooska ah ee aad isticmaali jirtay si ay kula soo xidhiidho. 

Samee raadis muuqaal^{(Do a reverse image search)} oo kale sawirkooda profile-ka Eeg haddii ay la falgalaan xubnaha qoyska. Ma leeyihiin bog LinkedIn^{(a LinkedIn page)} ? Tafaasiisha noloshoodu miyay soo kordhinaysaa? Ma isku mid baa u dhexeeya profiles?

Waxay Waydiyaan Lacag^{(They Ask For Money)}

Astaanta online-ka ah shukaansi scammer waa in quruxsan si degdeg ah ka dib markii aad ku xidho, codsiyada lacagta iman doona. Waxaa jira farsamooyin badan oo kala duwan oo halkan lagu qaadan karo, laakiin arrinta dhexe waa codsiga lacagta marka hore.

Maxaa Laga Sameynayaa^{(What To Do About It)}

Way adkaan kartaa, laakiin waxaad u baahan tahay inaad gabi ahaanba diiddo nooc kasta oo lacag-bixinno lacageed ah. Haddii aad hore u bixisay lacag, weli kama daahin inaad joojiso. Xitaa haddii uusan qofku ahayn^(isn’t) tuug, weli waa ugaadhsi aadna aan habboonayn in qof aad taqaan maalmo ama toddobaadyo lacag la weydiisto. 

Is weydii^(Ask) haddii aad ku faraxsanaan lahayd inaad qof aadan weligaa la kulmin nolosha dhabta ah aad siiso? Xataa saaxiibada ugu fiicani si dhib yar uma weydiiyaan gargaar dhaqaale. Waxa ka sii muhiimsan, tani waa da'da lacag- ururinta . Haddii qof uu leeyahay xaalad degdeg ah oo dhab ah oo uu lacag ka rabo shisheeyaha, way fiicnaan lahayd inay bilaabaan bogga GoFundMe .

Ingiriis Liidata Ama Isticmaalka Luuqadda Guud^{(Poor English Or Overall Language Use)}

Tani waxay noqon kartaa mid la taaban karo. Lahaanshaha amar liidata ee luqadda Ingiriisiga ^(English)si toos ah^{(automatically)} macnaheedu maaha in aad la macaamilayso khayaanada shukaansiga online-ka ah. Shabakaddu waxay suurtogal ka dhigaysaa in dadka asal kasta ka yimid ay kulmaan. Markaa gabi ahaanba waa suurtogal in qofka aad si sharci ah u bilaabayso safarka jacaylka in aanu si fiican ugu hadlin ama u qorin Ingiriisiga.

Calanka guduudan ee dhabta ah waa marka aysan jirin sabab looga filan karo Ingiriis^(English) xun qofka ay iska dhigayaan. Haddii uu qofku sheegto inuu yahay Ingiriisi^(English) ku hadla, jaamacad wax ku bartay ama u dhashay waddan Anglophone ah, markaa waa calan weyn oo cas marka Ingiriisigu^(English) jabo oo tayadiisu liidato. 

Isla mabda'a ayaa quseeya haddii aad ku wada xiriirto luqad aan Ingiriisi^(English) ahayn , oo aad tahay qof karti u leh inuu ku hadlo.

Maxaa Laga Sameynayaa^{(What To Do About It)}

Waxa kaliya ee aad runtii sameyn karto waa ka digtoonow haddii luqadda qofka uu yahay mid liidata, aan waafaqsaneyn ama haddii kale laga shakiyo. Kor u qaadida arrinta qof aan ahayn khayaano weli waxay noqon kartaa mid aad u xun. 

Si kastaba ha ahaatee, waxaad weydiin kartaa su'aalo la xiriira arrinta oo laga yaabo inay wax cadeeyaan. Su'aalaha sida "Immisa luqadood ayaad ku hadashaa?" ama " Ingiriisigu^(English) ma luqadaada koowaad baa? Waxaad haysataa hab qoraal oo xiiso leh."

Sheekooyin Sob ah oo faahfaahsan^{(Elaborate Sob Stories)}

Muuqaal kale oo caadi ah oo ka mid ah khiyaanada shukaansiga online waa sheekada sob ee tifaftiran. Waa sidaas oo kale in aad qofkan noloshiisa u soo gashay sidii ay wax walba u khaldami lahaayeen. Eygoodu waa bukoon yahay, hooyadood waxay u baahan tahay daawaynta kansarka, waxay ku dhowdahay in laga saaro iwm.

Caadi ahaan sheekooyinkan waa kuwo isku dhafan oo markaad wax badan waydiiso, tafaasiisha badan ayaa lagu darayaa dhoobada biyaha. Tan waxaa oo dhan hoosta ka xarriiqay rajo-beel iyo codsiyo gargaar qalbi-jab leh. Runtii way ku jecel yihiin, haddii aad iyaga jeceshahay waad caawin doontaa iyaga. 

Waxaad sharad ku samayn kartaa codsiga xaddi lacageed oo sii kordhaya ayaa dhawaan raaci doona.

Maxaa Laga Sameynayaa^{(What To Do About It)}

Inta badan dadka leh aqoon-yahan caafimaad leh oo wax-ka-sheeg ah waxay urayaan wax kalluun ah marka sheekooyinka musiibada laxanka ahi ay bilaabaan inay soo dhex galaan. Sheekadu hadday run tahay iyo haddii kaleba, mas'uuliyaddaada maaha inaad hagaajiso. 

Waad u naxariisan kartaa, waxaad bixin kartaa talo, laakiin waligaa lacag ha siin. Gaar ahaan aad ayay u xun tahay haddii ay jirto saameyn ku saabsan quid pro quo, laakiin taasi waa arrin u taal kombuyuutarkaaga anshaxa.

Cudurdaar, cudurdaar, cudurdaar^{(Excuses, Excuses, Excuses)}

Waxaad sharad kartaa in online shukaansi khayaanada ma aha shisheeye in la su'aalo. Inta badan calaamooyinkooda ayaa si dhakhso ah u urinaya wax kalluun, sidaa darteed waxay haystaan ​​buug-ciyaareed cudur-daar ah si ay kuugu xidhaan ilaa inta suurtogalka ah, kaliya si ay u helaan dhawr dollar oo dheeraad ah ama (kalluumaysiga) dhawr qosol oo kale.

Mar haddii aysan ahayn qof dhab ah, wax kasta oo aad weydiisatid waxay noqon doontaa wax aan fududayn qofka dhabta ah inuu sameeyo waa wax ay tahay inuu iska ilaaliyo. Ma doonaysaa inaad hesho wicitaan muuqaal ah? Waxay heli doonaan sabab aysan u awoodin. Ma doonaysaa inaad u duusho si aad ula kulanto si aad ugu wacdo bluff-kooda? Waxay u badan tahay in aanay ku heshiin ilaa ay horeba kaaga dhogortameen in kugu filan si ay khiyaamadu u dhammaato. 

Sida ugu badan ee suurtogalka ah, tuuggu wuxuu rabi doonaa inuu kugu ilaaliyo fogaan ay xakameyn karaan. Tani waxay sahlaysaa in kor loo qaado wejiga.

Maxaa Laga Sameynayaa^{(What To Do About It)}

Dhawr cudurdaar ah oo macquul ah ayaa ah hal shay, laakiin haddii ay soo baxdo in codsigaaga kulanka nolosha dhabta ah ama wicitaan fudud oo Skype ah ay la kulmaan daah bir ah oo sababo aysan dhici karin, markaa waxa fiican in la dhameeyo arrimaha. Xitaa haddii aysan weligeed ahayn khiyaano. 

Cilaaqaadka waxaa loola jeedaa in uu si tartiib tartiib ah u furmo, qof qoraallada ku kulul, laakiin aan kamarad qaadan doonin waa calan weyn oo cas.

Niyad-xumada sii kordhaysa^{(Escalating Desperation)}

^(Online)Khatarta shukaansiga ee online -ka ah kuma cusba dadka iska caabiya wicitaanka lacagta. Halkaas ayay runtii ka bilaabayaan ganacsigooda. Marka hore^(First) waxay cagta la soo galeen albaabka gambigii furitaanka ee sheekada baroorta. Markaa, marka aanad la iman lacagta caddaanka ah, arrimuhu way ka sii dari doonaan. 

Ugu dambayntii waxa aad heli doontaa qofka kale oo ku baryaya caawimo, isaga oo su'aal ka keenaya sawirkaaga qof wanaagsan. Kaama fogaan doonaan inay niyad ahaan kuu xumeeyaan xoogaa lacag ah. Dhab ahaantii, inta badan ee ay kaa dhigi karaan dareenkaaga dareenkaaga waxaa yaraanaya inaad istaagto oo aad ka fikirto. 

Maxaa Laga Sameynayaa^{(What To Do About It)}

Tani waxay noqon kartaa mid adag, gaar ahaan haddii khiyaameeyaha uu waqti dheer ku qaatay inuu ku hagaajiyo xilligan. Waxa ugu fiican ee la sameeyo waa inaad waqti iyo masaafada u dhexeyso naftaada iyo kuwan fadlan. 

Soco socod, si qoto dheer u neefso oo fiiri waxa la sheegayo ee ka baxsan saameynta dareenka xooggan. Cadaadiska waqtiga^(Time) iyo dareenka sare waa aalado ay adeegsadaan wax-qabadyadu si ay kuugu qasbaan go'aamo adiga oo aan ka fikirin. 

Kugu Qasbida Adeeg Kaduwan^{(Forcing You To a Different Service)}

Mid ka mid ah xeeladaha caadiga ah ee ay adeegsadaan khiyaamooyinkan ayaa ah inay si dhakhso ah kaaga guuraan goobta caadiga ah sida Facebook ama Twitter , oo ay u socdaan meel kaliya oo ay gacanta ku hayaan. Tani waxay noqon kartaa farimo qoraal ah oo fudud, WhatsApp ama wax qarsoon. Ma rabaan in la sheego mana rabaan in aad dadka kale soo geliso wada hadalka. 

Waa muhiim in ay xakameeyaan doorsoomayaasha wada hadalkaaga intii suurtagal ah. Haddii uu qofku si la yaab leh ugu adkaysto inaad ka guurto madal aad kula kulantay, ka shaki.

Maxaa Laga Sameynayaa^{(What To Do About It)}

Diid^(Refuse) . Ma jirto sabab macquul ah oo kaa fogaynaysa goobta aad ku kalsoon tahay oo aad hadaba isticmaalayso. Ha u dhiibin xakamaynta shuruudaha wada hadalka qofka kale. Haddii ay ku kulmi waayaan kala bar, markaa ma haysatid sabab aad ku sii wadato hadalka.

Wadaagista Dodgy Link^{(Dodgy Link Sharing)}

Iyadoo khayaanada shukaansiga online (marka laga reebo catfishers) ay xiiseynayaan inay lacag sameeyaan, waxaa laga yaabaa inaysan u socon si toos ah. Khatarta shukaansiga ee khadka tooska ah ayaa laga yaabaa inay dhisto kalsooni si ay kuu hesho inaad gujiso xiriirinta khiyaanada  .^(Online)

Dhammaanteen waxaan jecelnahay la wadaagista xusuusta iyo waxyaabaha wanaagsan ee saaxiibadayada ah, marka waxaad aad ugu dhowdahay inaad gujiso wax qof "aaminsan" uu kuu soo diro adoon joojin inaad ka fikirto. Waxay noqon kartaa isku xirka phishing , soo dejinta ^(phishing)malware ama wax kasta oo run ahaantii ah. Haddii quruxdaada khadka tooska ah ay runtii^{(really )} rabto inaad gujiso isku xirka, aad uga digtoonow.

Maxaa Laga Sameynayaa^{(What To Do About It)}

Xeerarka amniga internetka ee caadiga ah tufaaxa. Ha gujin xiriirinta aadan aqoon oo aad ku kalsoon tahay^{(you don’t know and trust)} . Ha soo dejin oo socodsiin faylalka aadan aqoon caddayntooda. Haddi aad dhab ahaantii ku qasban tahay, samee iskaanka fayraska^{(antivirus scans)} ku samee wax kasta oo la soo dejiyo oo kaliya fur xiriiriyeyaasha shakiga leh adiga oo isticmaalaya sanduuqa bacaadka^(sandbox) browserka . Weligaa ha^(Never) ku qorin macluumaadka xasaasiga ah ama khaaska ah foomam kasta oo laga helo xiriiriyeyaashan.

Sawirrada Supermodel^{(Supermodel Photos)}

OK, ma ahan wax aan macquul aheyn in taariikhdaada online ay dhab ahaantii tahay nooc xirfadeed oo cajiib ah oo soo jiidasho leh. Si kastaba ha ahaatee, dadka intiisa badan ma haystaan ​​sawirro muuqaal ah oo u muuqda in laga soo jeexjeexay majaladda. Markaa waa hubaal calan cas.

Dabcan, khayaanada ayaa si caqli ah u helaya tan. Markaa waxaa laga yaabaa inay si fudud u xadaan sawirka profile ee qof kale. Waxa kale oo laga yaabaa inay sawiro kale ka xadaan profile-ka qofkaas si ay iyaga ugu ekaysiiyaan kuwo sharci ah.

Maxaa Laga Sameynayaa^{(What To Do About It)}

Waxa ugu fudud ee la sameeyo ayaa ah in si fudud loo sameeyo sawir muuqaal ah^{(reverse image search)} oo sawirka laga hadlayo oo arag haddii uu meel kale ka soo baxay.

Ku Fikirka Madaxaaga, Maaha Qalbigaaga^{(Thinking With Your Head, Not Your Heart)}

Bini'aadamku waxay u muuqdaan inay u caqli-galiyaan shucuur ahaan. Dadka ku jira suuqgeyntu way yaqaaniin tan, waana sababta ay xayeysiisyadu diiradda u saaraan dareenka. Waxay rabaan inay kugu kululeeyaan istiraatijiyadda "galmada wax iibisa" ama inay ku dareensiiyaan murugo iyo naxariis si aad alaab u soo iibsato ama ugu deeqdo sabab. 

Khayaano-yaqaanku waxay isticmaalayaan isla buug-ciyaareed la mid ah, laakiin xitaa kuma soo bandhigaan wax beddelka lacagtaada, wakhtigaaga iyo maalgashigaaga shucuurta. Taasi^(Which) waa sababta ay tahay inaad had iyo jeer ilaaliso masaafada u dhaxaysa naftaada iyo dareenkaaga marka ay timaado xidhiidhada internetka. 

Ilaa aad jir ahaan wada joogtaan, xiriirku ma aha mid la taaban karo. Dad^(Plenty) badan ayaa jacayl ka helaya internetka, laakiin waxaad u baahan tahay inaad noqoto mid si fiican u qabsanaya, ma aha mid ku xidhan dembiilaha. 

Online Dating Scammers: 10 Red Flags To Spot & Avoid Them

The worst sort of criminal is the kind that preys on us when we are at our most vulnеrable. When it comes to matters of the heart, even the smartest person can look past logіc and fall into the jaws of a scam. 

Online dating scammers rely on our need for companionship, love and the avoidance of painful loneliness. Everyone deserves to find someone special, but that doesn’t mean you need to be completely uncritical when looking for love online. 

We’re going to look at how online dating scammers work, what the warning signs are and how you can deal with each one.

How Online Dating Scammers Work

There are two main types of online dating scammers. The first is motivated by pure profit. The idea is to build a relationship with you. Then emotionally manipulate you into parting with your valuables. 

The second type of scam is more insidious, since most of the time, there’s no monetary gain. This is known as “catfishing” and is a form of internet trolling. The aim is to humiliate or otherwise emotionally harm you as a cruel prank. 

While catfishing doesn’t generally fleece you of money (although it may move in that direction) many of the signs are still shared between both types of online dating scammers. Here are some of the most common red flags.

Things Move WAY Too Fast

The scammer needs to make a profit, which means they are on the clock. While you may be in no rush and just want to enjoy the early stages of getting all lovey-dovey, the real person behind the fake profile wants dollars and they want them now. 

This means you’ll definitely sense a certain lack of hesitation from the other side of the screen. Your online “date” wants to go from 0-60 in no time flat. So if things are getting hot and heavy at an insincere speed, you should definitely take a step back without those rose-tinted love glasses.

What To Do About It

You need to take control over the pace of commitment. Ask them detailed questions about their lives. Take a real interest. Let them know you’re interested in getting to know them before getting serious. 

This isn’t foolproof. Some online dating scammer outfits are willing to work their marks for months or years, but most are in it for a quick buck and putting the brakes on makes you unprofitable.

Things Don’t Add Up

Online dating scammers have to build multiple fake online personas. Yes, even the scammer has to play the field. They might tell you that there are no other victims, but the truth is being an online dating scammer is a bit like being a battery farm chicken. You’re stuffed into a box and expected to produce, produce, produce.

The good news is that this means most of these fake online profiles are paper thin. Just a casual read through their social media profiles should highlight details that don’t match up.

What To Do About It

Do your research just as you would with any other stranger on the web. It’s almost impossible for people to keep their lives off the net these days. So look beyond the channels your prospective online date has used to contact you. 

Do a reverse image search on their profile picture. See if they interact with family members. Do they have a LinkedIn page? Do the details about their lives add up? Are they the same between profiles?

They Ask For Money

The hallmark of an online dating scammer is that pretty quickly after hooking you, the requests for money will come. There are many different tacks that can be taken here, but the central issue is the request for money in the first place.

What To Do About It

It may be difficult, but you need to absolutely refuse any form of monetary payments. If you already made a payment, it’s still not too late to stop. Even if the person isn’t a scammer, it’s still predatory and highly inappropriate to ask someone you’ve only known for a few days or weeks for money. 

Ask yourself if you would have been comfortable giving a person you’ve never met in real life money? Even best friends don’t ask for financial help lightly. More importantly, this is the age of crowdfunding. If someone has a genuine emergency and wants money from strangers, they’d be better off starting a GoFundMe page.

Poor English Or Overall Language Use

This can be a touchy one. Having a poor command of the English language doesn’t automatically mean you are dealing with an online dating scammer. The web makes it possible for people from any background to meet. So it’s entirely possible that the person you are legitimately starting a romantic journey with just doesn’t speak or write English well.

The actual red flag is when there’s no reason to expect bad English from the person they are pretending to be. If the person claims to be an English speaker, college educated or a native of an Anglophone country, then it’s a major red flag when their English is broken and of poor quality. 

The same principle applies if you are communicating in a language other than English, of which you are a competent speaker.

What To Do About It

The only thing you can really do is be wary if the person’s language use is poor, inconsistent or otherwise suspicious. Raising the issue with someone who isn’t a scammer could still be highly offensive. 

However, you can ask questions related to the issue that might clear things up. Questions such as “How many languages do you speak?” or “Is English your first language? You have an interesting way of writing.”

Elaborate Sob Stories

Another common feature of online dating scammers is the elaborate sob story. It just so happens that you’ve come into this person’s life just as everything was about to go wrong. Their dog is sick, their mom needs cancer treatment, they’re about to be evicted and so on.

Typically these stories are convoluted and the more you question them, the more details are added to muddy the waters further. This is all underscored by desperation and heart-wrenching pleas for help. They really do love you, if you love them you’ll help them out. 

You can bet the request for ever-escalating amounts of money will soon follow.

What To Do About It

Most people with a healthy nonsense-detector will smell something fishy when the stories of melodramatic tragedy start rolling in. Whether the story is true or not, it’s not your responsibility to fix it. 

You can sympathise, you can offer advice, but never offer money. It’s especially nasty if there’s an implication of quid pro quo, but that’s a matter for your own moral compass.

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

You can bet that online dating scammers are no strangers to being interrogated. Most of their marks smell something fishy pretty quickly, so they have a playbook of excuses to string you along for as long as possible, just in order to get a few more dollars or (with catfishing) a few more laughs.

Since they aren’t a real person, anything you ask for that would be trivial for a real person to do is something they have to avoid. Want to have a video call? They’ll find a reason why they can’t. Want to fly out to meet them to call their bluff? They probably won’t agree unless they’ve already fleeced enough from you for the scam to end. 

As much as possible, the scammer will want to keep you at a distance they can control. This makes it easy to hold up the facade.

What To Do About It

A few reasonable excuses are one thing, but if it turns out that your request for a real life meeting or a simple Skype call are met with an iron curtain of reasons they can’t happen, then it’s best to end things. Even if it was never a scam. 

Relationships are meant to open up gradually over time, someone who is red-hot in texts, but won’t get on camera is a major red flag.

Escalating Desperation

Online dating scammers are no stranger to people resisting the call for money. That’s where they really begin to ply their trade. First they get a foot in the door with the opening gambit of the sob story. Then, when you aren’t forthcoming with the cash, things get worse. 

Eventually you’ll have the other person begging you for help, questioning your self-image as a good person. They will not shy away from hurting you emotionally for a few bucks. In fact, the more distraught they can make you through your empathy the less likely you’ll be to stop and think. 

What To Do About It

This can be a tough one, especially if the scammer has spent a long time grooming you for this moment. The best thing to do is put time and distance between yourself and these please. 

Go for a walk, take a deep breath and look at what’s being said outside of the influence of strong emotion. Time pressure and heightened emotions are tools that manipulators use to force you into making decisions without thinking. 

Forcing You To a Different Service

One common tactic used by these scammers is to quickly move you from a mainstream platform like Facebook or Twitter, to somewhere only they control. This can be simple text messaging, WhatsApp or something obscure. They don’t want to be reported and they don’t want you bringing other people into the conversation. 

It’s critical that they control as many of the variables in your conversation as possible. If the person is strangely insistent that you move away from the platform where you met, be suspicious.

What To Do About It

Refuse. There’s no good reason to move you away from the platform you trust and are already using. Don’t cede control over the terms of the conversation to the other person. If they won’t meet you halfway, then you don’t have any reason to keep talking.

Dodgy Link Sharing

While online dating scammers (apart from catfishers) are interested in making money, they might not go about it in a direct way. Online dating scammers may build trust with you to get you to click on scam links. 

We all love sharing memes and good content with our friends, so you are much more likely to click on something a “trusted” person sends you without stopping to think. It could be a phishing link, a malware download or anything really. If your online beau really wants you to click on a link, be very wary.

What To Do About It

The standard cybersecurity rules apple. Don’t click on the links you don’t know and trust. Don’t download and run files you don’t know the provenance of. If you really must, run antivirus scans on any downloads and only open suspicious links using a browser sandbox. Never type sensitive or personal information into any forms found through these links.

Supermodel Photos

OK, it’s not impossible that your online date actually is an incredibly attractive professional model. However, the vast majority of people don’t have profile photos that seem to have been ripped from a magazine. So it’s a red flag for sure.

Of course, scammers are getting wise to this. So they might simply steal the profile picture of another person. They might also steal other photos from that person’s profile to make their own seem more legitimate.

What To Do About It

The easiest thing to do is simply run a reverse image search on the photo in question and see if it comes up somewhere else.

Thinking With Your Head, Not Your Heart

Humans tend to reason emotionally. People in marketing know this, which is why adverts focus on feelings. They want to make you hot under the collar with the “sex sells” strategy or make you feel sad and sympathetic so you’ll buy a product or donate to a cause. 

Scammers are using the same playbook, but don’t even offer something in return for your cash, time and emotional investment. Which is why you should always maintain some degree of distance between yourself and your feelings when it comes to online relationships. 

Until you’re physically present together, the relationship isn’t concrete. Plenty of people are finding love online, but you need to be the one hooking a good catch, not the one getting hooked by a criminal. 

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