Imisa jeer ayaad dareentay in qofka kula hadlaya uu u muuqdo mid ku mashquulay taleefoon ama PC ama saacadiisa smart? Waxaad dareemeysaa in qofku uusan si buuxda u wada hadlin oo uu luminayo tafaasiisha meesha ay ahayd in uu si sax ah uga jawaabo, iyo feejignaan dheeraad ah. Tani waa waxa loo yaqaan sida Phubbing , oo waxay kala dhantaalaa xidhiidhka ka dhexeeya qoysaska iyo asxaabta.

Waa maxay Phubbing

Tiknoolajiyadu^(Tech) waxay noqotay qayb ka mid ah nolol maalmeedkeena, waxaanan u ogolaanay inay ku soo duusho meelaha sirta, dareenka, iyo hal qof hal qof wada sheekeysigu muhiim yahay. Taleefanka, PC-yada, Smartwatch wax kasta oo aad isticmaasho had iyo jeer iyada oo aan loo eegin meesha aad joogto. Waxaan caado u yeelanay inaan teleefankeena kala soo baxno wada hadal dhex mara, oo aan sii wadno madaxyada oo kaliya, oo aan eegno taleefanka oo aan bixinno joogitaan been ah. Tani waa Phubbing taas oo carqaladaynaysa wakhtigaaga xaadirka ah, xidhiidhada qof ahaaneed.

Maxay uga dhigan tahay Phubbing xiriirka gaarka ah

Tan waan soo maray, oo aad bay u qoto dheertay oo waxaan bilaabay inaan kala gooyo qof kasta oo qoyskayga ah^{(disconnecting from everyone in my family)} . Waxay dareemeen in aan iska indha tiray iyaga, taas oo aan ujeeddaydu ahayn balse haddana aan samaynayo. Maalin kasta oo aan guriga ku soo noqdo, waan dami taleefoonkaygii, oo aan si aan kala sooc lahayn u hubin jiray, inta aan qadeeyo, anoo quraacda, wayna ka sii darnayd. Qoyska^(Family) iyo saaxiibada^(Friend) waxay u baahan yihiin wakhtigooda adiga, waxaana ku mashquulsanaa sahaminta baraha bulshada shaqo ama madadaalo. Si aad u badan oo ay u noqoto mid daba-dheer.

Waxay saamaysaa cilaaqaadka iyo xitaa caafimaadka maskaxda xaaskaaga:^{(Affects relationships and even your Spouse mental health:)}

Ula dhaqan tan sida sigaarka dadban^{(Passive Smoking)} . Marka aydaan waqti ku habboon is siin, waxaad dareemeysaa in la iska indha tiray, oo dareenka lammaanaha ay isu siin lahaayeen uu meel kale tago. Waxaa laga yaabaa in lammaanahaagu la kulmo niyad-jab iyo qanacsanaanta guurka oo hoos u dhacda^{(Your partner may experience depression and lower marital satisfaction)} . Tani waxay keeni kartaa furriin haddii loo qaato heer joogto ah. Qoysku waxay u baahan yihiin fiiro gaar ah, ma aha inay u baahan yihiin, laakiin sababtoo ah way u qalmaan.

Caafimaadka Maskaxda & Jirka:^{(Mental & Physical Health:)}

Waxay keentaa qoor xanuun daran^{(severe neck pains)} . In madaxa hoos loo dhigo oo aad eegto telefoonka mar walba, waxay dhaawacaysaa muddada dheer. Waxaa laga yaabaa inaadan arkin inay soo socota. Mar walba waad ku sii wareegaysaa adiga oo eegaya alaab aan waligood isbeddel badan ku samaynayn nolosha dhabta ah. Diiradda maskaxdu aad bay u sarraysaa, oo aad ka go'day dunida dhabta ah, oo waxay kuu horseedaysaa shilal. ^{(you get totally get cut off from the real world, and has lead to accidents. )}

Waxaan dareemay mid ka sii daran. Runtii ma fududayn in aan xooga^{(not really easy to concentrate)}  saaro wax kale ama aan ku boodo wadahadal isla markaaba ka dib markii aan telefoonkayga hoos u dhigay.

Sida loo joojiyo Phubbing

Si tartiib ah, waxaan gartay sababtoo ah qoyskaygu waxay bilaabeen inay i siiyaan dareen yar sababtoo ah waxaan ku mashquulsanaa nafteyda oo waxay rabeen inay sidoo kale mashquuliyaan. Markii aan waqti raadinayey, way mashquuleen oo waxay heleen dhadhanka daawadayda. Ugu dambayntii, waxa aan ku qasbanaaday in aan dejiyo qaar ka mid ah xeerar, waxaana kula wadaagayaa.

Aagga Taleefanka Malaha Guriga^{(No Phone Zone at Home)}

Iyadoo gebi ahaanba meesha laga saaray xal ma ahayn. Markaa waxaan la nimid aagag telefoonada. Taleefankaygii waan dhigay 3 saacadood ee xigtay kadib markii aan guriga imid. Waqti^(Gave) siiya qoyska, kala hadal waxyaabo kala duwan, waxyaabaha qoyska maalinlaha ah, wiilkayga kala hadlay maalintiisa, iyo wixii la mid ah. Taleefanka waxaa lagu haayay qol kale waxaana la rabay in la soo xaadiro marka uu soo galo wicitaan muhiim ah.

Meel kasta ayaan tan ku celceliyay oo waxaan xaddiday inaan isticmaalo taleefanka 30 ilaa 40 daqiiqo oo keliya markaan guriga joogo, iyo maalinta xafiiska caadiga ah.

Aagga Taleefoonka Malaha Saaxiibada^{(No Phone Zone with Friends)}

Tani way ka sii adkeyd, dariiqa kaliya ee looga bixi karaana waxay ahayd in gabi ahaanba la diido taleefoonka. Taleefanka ku hay jeebka, oo haddii aad dareento in wicitaanku ay aad muhiim u yihiin, waxaad had iyo jeer ku xidhi kartaa taleefoonka dhegta ee Bluetooth- ka, oo ka soo qayb gal. Had iyo jeer waxaan hubin jiray in marka asxaabta kulmaan, qof kastaa uu fogeeyo taleefannadayada. Had iyo jeer waxaan isku daynay inaanan teleefanka la bixin.

Runtii may fududayn. Caadada ah in la hayo taleefanka, hubinta sabab la'aan. Waxaan ku qasbanaaday in aan la dagaallamo dareenka rajada ah in aan helo fariin. Waxay u fiican tahay sida la dagaalanka sigaarka.

U xuubsiib meel aan talefoon lahayn oo heer shakhsi ah^{(Evolve into a No Phone Zone on a personal level)}

Xitaa haddii aad wax walba dhinac ka dhigto, Phubbing waxay kugu dhaawacaysaa heer shakhsi. Waqtiga aan gelineyno baraha bulshada ma ahan mid runtii qiimo leh ilaa ay la xiriirto shaqadaada mooyaane, oo ay lacag kuu sameyneyso. Daqiiqad kasta oo^(Every) aad halkaas ku qaadato waxay la macno tahay, inaadan samaynayn wax kaa caawin kara inaad naftaada koraan, barato wax nolosha ku cusub. Ka fakar.

Waxaan xaqiiqsaday in arrimuhu ay soo hagaagayeen ka dib markii aan bilaabay raacitaanka xeerarka. Feejignaanteyda ayaa ka fiicneyd, waxaan si wanaagsan ula xiriiri jiray qoyskayga. Waxaan awooday inaan ka hadlo mowduucyo aan had iyo jeer rabay inay iga lumaan inta lagu jiro Phubbing.

Isticmaal tignoolajiyada marka aad u baahan tahay inaad isticmaasho. U roonow, si aad u maamusho.^{(Use tech when you need to use it. Master it, so you control it.)}

What is Phubbing and What it means for personal relations

How many times have уou noticed that a person talking with you seems tо be distracted either by phone or а PC or on their smartwatch? You feel the person is not completely into a conversation and misses out on details where he or she shoυld havе responded prоperly, and with more attention. This is what is called as Phubbing, and it’s tearing apart relationship between families and friends.

What is Phubbing

Tech has become part of our daily life, and we have allowed it to invade places where privacy, attention, and one to one person conversation is important. Phones, PCs, Smartwatch anything that you use all the time no matter where you are. We have grown a habit of pulling out our phone in between a conversation, and just keep nodding our heads, and looking at the phone and offering a false presence. This is Phubbing which is disrupting your present-moment, in-person relationships.

What does Phubbing mean for personal relations

I have been through this, and it went so deep that I started disconnecting from everyone in my family. They felt that I had been ignoring them, which was not my intention but then I was doing. Every day I reached back home, I would snag my phone, and check things randomly, while lunch, while breakfast, and it became worse. Family and Friend need their time with you, and I was busy exploring social media either for work or fun. So much that it became chronic.

Affects relationships and even your Spouse mental health:

Treat this like Passive Smoking. When you don’t give proper time to each other, you feel ignored, and the attention which spouses would have given to each other goes somewhere else. Your partner may experience depression and lower marital satisfaction. This could lead to divorce if taken into a chronic level. A family needs attention, not because they need it, but because they deserve it.

Mental & Physical Health:

It’s resulting in severe neck pains. Keeping your head lowered and looking at the phone all the time, does hurt in the long term. You might not even see it coming. You keep scrolling every time looking at stuff which would never make a lot of difference in real life. The mental concentration goes so high, that you get totally get cut off from the real world, and has lead to accidents. 

I have felt even worse. It was not really easy to concentrate on something else or jump into a conversation right after I had kept my phone down.

How to stop Phubbing

Slowly, I realized because my family started giving me less attention because I was busy with myself and they wanted to stay occupied too. When I was seeking time, they were busy and got the taste of my own medicine. Finally, I had to lay down some rules, and I am sharing it with you:

No Phone Zone at Home

While taking it completely off wasn’t a solution. So we came up with no phone zones. I kept down my phone for next 3 hrs after I reached home. Gave time to family, talked about various things, daily family stuff, talked with my son about his day, and so on. The phone was kept in other room and was only to be attended when an important call came in.

I practiced this everywhere and restricted myself to use the phone only for 30 to 40 minutes when at home, and on a regular office day.

No Phone Zone with Friends

This was even tougher, and only way out was to turn down the ringer completely. Keep the phone in the pocket, and if you feel calls are very important, you can always connect with a Bluetooth earphone, and attend them. I always made sure that when friends meet, everyone kept our phones away.  We always tried to not take out the phone at all.

It wasn’t really easy. The habit of holding the phone, checking on it for no reason. I had to fight my sense of expectation of getting a message. It’s as good as fighting the habit of smoking.

Evolve into a No Phone Zone on a personal level

Even if you keep everything aside, Phubbing is hurting you on a personal level. The time we are putting on social media is not really worth it unless its related to your work, and it’s making you money. Every minute you spend there means, you are not doing something which could help you grow yourself, learn something new in life. Think about it.

I have realized that things were improving after I started following the rules. My concentration was better, I was communicating well with my family. I was able to discuss topics which I always wanted by lost them during Phubbing.

Use tech when you need to use it. Master it, so you control it.

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